As usual, there was a wide variation in quality on these essays. Most students grasped the "evidence" but underachieved in terms of analyzing the interplay between bias and evidence.
Note that this interplay is maximally displayed by those
that looked through the telescope but did not see
Some common weaknesses and some specific examples:
- Have a strong concluding paragraph that ties your arguments
together; only about 1/3 of the submitted essays had this.
- Is important to define your terms and to not assume the reader knows what your talking about. Hence, a sentence like "Then there was the anomaly of retrograde motion" conveys no meaning because a)you have to define what retrograde motion means and b) then show why its an anomaly.
- Avoid broad, general and vague statements. Examples:
The teachings of Aristotle and Plato laid a solid foundation for future scientists whose discoveries have had immeasurable influences on technology and our understanding of the natural world (define the foundation!)
Because there really is no way to prove this phenomenon, it is evident that the idea is a cultural bias.
- Avoid using confusing language - read your sentences over
to see that they make sense:
Polytheists believed that the Gods created natural inconsistencies in order to demonstrate their will over human beings.
The earth moves in a circular motion, which under Aristotle’s reasoning, would be unnatural. (but the Earth was proclaimed not to be moving)
- Be specific in analysis:
The best we can do is to try to control our bias (first the bias has to be identified before it can be controlled. This is very important)
The explanations that the Greeks provided were often convoluted and lacked proof. Cultural bias also affected their understanding of nature. There were exceptions to this, but they were few and far between. The Greeks laid the foundations for the advancement of science, however, many of their actual theories were incorrect and not rooted in fact.
- Be careful about "what if" scenarios - could they
have occurred during the period?
A very simple experiment would have shown that the number of times a sick person spits has no causal relationship to the duration of their recovery (seems to require patient tracking)
______
Many did not produce a document that demonstrated bias, e. g., on perfect circles. That approach would not stand up in the court of academia. Specifically: refer to Plato's charge to astronomers; it is the same as in Clavius.
There is considerable confusion about the norm and the anomaly.
Failure to really address the issue posed. You cannot use this essay as a departure point for writing about something else.